Anchorman Barbie

I don't think this is Kayla-the-lesbian-Barbie's girlfriend.

I think that's a different Barbie doll.

I think this is just Anchorman Barbie, whose name is Grace. She also plays jazz flute and has a penchant for scotch. She's also really in to punk. The sleeves cover her many tattoos of Vince Noir and other Boosh characters (such a sycophant!)

 I suspect my children are quite strange.

cuuuute

Kip and Lil after a walk

  

Kip decided to take herself for a walk this morning. In to a neighbouring yard, and then shed. Fortunately, we were walking on a nearby oval at the time, so it wasn't the immediate neighbours (though she has walked herself over there previously).

Still. She's a funny dog.

Hence the need for a cute photo.

And another. As a matter of fact, Kip is modelling a Norwegian Forest Hat, as crocheted for a friend's Norwegian Forest Cat. Needless to say, Kip is such an awesome, hardcore dog that she immediately made the hat look like a pimp hat. But that's probably got a lot to do with the fact that she is a pimp dawg.

The pattern is from a hilarious blog called Spindles and Spices where the blogger heartily endorses knitted furmiliation of her pets. Which I think is only  reasonable, considering the amount of piss, shit and barking I have to deal with.

It's official

I have found the single most greatest crochet pattern ever to hook its way in to this sad, pathetic world of ours. Well, sad and pathetic without the pattern. Totally awesome with. Obv.

But a little back story first. Because what's awesome things in life without some totally boring building up?

So I've finished my god-awful thesis. The thesis itself wasn't god-awful, I hope, in fact, I hope the assessors read it and decide it's complete and utter genius and award me some kind of super-honours mark. Or something, right? Meh. A first class honours is all I really want. Band one, preferably, but first class, definitely.


So, I am sitting here, at my little laptop killing time and eating awesome sandwiches and stuff. Crocheting mostly, which involves intermittently picking up my nephew's blanket project, doing a little, and then searching Ravelry for other cute projects to begin. Because why would I finish one project when I could start 10 others?

I am also watching Russian news. I can't say precisely why this is, I think I was hoping that I would somehow absorb an awesome understanding of the language just by watching the news in Russian. Which seems completely logical, except that it gets kind of boring quite quickly. It is the news after all. I just like it when they cut back to the news desk and the reporters are saying something about something but the camera is too far away for me to really discern what their shoulder shrugs and funny little head wobbles are all about. That and I'm not quite sure what they're saying. Yet.

So back to Ravelry. I was searching for cute little patterns, and found THE MOST AWESOME CROCHET PATTERN EVER.

It's from this most wondrous blog here where this cool girl knits and crochets and generally procrastinates in ways I can totally relate to. She also finishes projects... which I haven't quite got around to mastering yet.

At any rate, like me, Carrie appears to love golden girls. As one of the world's greatest television shows (alongside growing pains and family ties) I can understand why. What's great about Carrie, is that she's done a totally amazing fusion of love for quality tv and a fibre arts obsession... and made...


(OMG, such suspense!!!)




awesome blog link again

YES!!! A BETTY WHITE DOLL!

And the bestest, BESTEST bit is that it's not Betty White per the current (and deserved) Betty White fandom, but Betty White as Rose, wearing "chinos and a sensible aqua cardigan"... gold!


Here's another linkie to Carrie's amazing blog post, where she links to the pattern, which is available as a Ravelry download. Ah, Ravelry. My spare time was so much less productive without you.

I'm going to make this doll for my mate Steve. Because I want to thank him for being a friend.

well what, hippie?

(via)

The Young Ones is on ABC2. My children are, much to the chagrin of me, busy doing word puzzles and such like. They're not even remotely interested in the (hilarious) musings of the People's Poet:

Oh, Cliff

Sometimes it must be difficult not to feel as if

You really are a Cliff

When fascists keep trying to push you over it

Are they the lemmings?

Or are you Cliff?

Or are you, Cliff?

Cliff - from Demolition (via this website)


And as the People's Poet, comic book superhero extraordinaire:

What do you think you're doing, pig?

Do you really give a fig, pig?

And what's your favourite sort of gig, pig?

Barry Manilow

Or the black and white minstrel show?

(also via this website)

Sometimes what we say comes out all wrong

Case in point:

Photo from here, copyright of the original photographer (it's a mouse).

Of course, sometimes we just mean, and say, the wrong thing.



So my (future) mother-in-law was criticising rugby players, saying that it's a thugs' sport, that there was a higher risk of injury (there isn't) and that N specifically wasn't the right body type to play it - that you have to be a certain body type (big and solid, I think). I pointed out that I play rugby, and I don't fit that 'type' to which she said, "well if you're short and squat it's ok".

And also, "have you ever seen a good-looking rugby player?!" (it was a statement, not question) to which I replied "yes, of course" ... obviously I'm not.

So, you know, instead of punching her (or just tackling her white-bread gold-standard arse) and telling her to kindly fuck off, I argued a little and then gave up.
She also criticised our invitations, stating that there was no mention of the W word on there (she actually said wedding, obviously, because she has no sense of subtlety or grace) to which I replied well, you know, people can either figure it out (and let's face it, everyone that is invited should theoretically know by now) or they can call us up and ask.
It's not rocket surgery, peoples.


In addition, I have been running daily (or almost daily). Except yesterday, when I cut my dress pattern out instead of running. Which is almost as fun but not nearly as athletic.

Because changing my mind is what I do best...

Have completely changed my mind about the invitations. Hand written 'to-do' lists seem daggy and uncool now, have decided to write vital details on a page torn from an old dictionary instead.
N still prefers the to-do list, but I'm over it.

in other, unrelated news:

Dear Sir/Madam,



I am Mr. Raymond Daniel, the Auditor General, Bank Islam Malaysia Berhad. In the course of my auditing, I discovered a floating funds in an account which was opened in 2001 belonging to a dead foreigner name (withheld) a national of your country. I decided to track his last name over the Internet to locate any member of his family hence I got in contact with you. I want to move the sum of $18.5M from Bank Islam Malaysia Berhad in his account to abroad.



I therefore write to solicit your quiet partnership with me in providing an account or setting up a new one that will serve the purpose of receiving this fund, Even an empty account can also serve as long as there will be honesty to me till the end of the deal and I hope you will never let me down.



After going through his records and files, I discovered that:



(1) No one has operated this account since 2001;

(2) He died without an heir; hence the money has been floating.

(3) No other person knows about this account and there was no known

beneficiary.



AND IF I DO NOT REMIT THIS MONEY URGENTLY, IT WOULD BE FORFEITED FOR

NOTHING.

This money can only be approved to you legally as far you are welling to stands as his NEXT OF KIN. Hence I am contacting you. I will require your urgent reply so that I give you the next step. Kindly forward your telephone and fax numbers. I am ready to give you the sum of $7,500,000 ($7.5M) for your assistance and partnership. While 10% shall be set aside to upset all expenses incurred by both parties during the cause of this transaction.



I look forward to your prompt.



Best Regards,

Mr.Raymond Daniel,

Auditor General.

LOL

and while we're on the topic of deers and such like,

I don't know why this dude's question wasn't answered with the sobriety it so deserves. It seems perfectly legitimate to me.

Having said that, I don't have the answer (much too esoteric for me). Further, I suspect that his interpretation of what Martha Stewart's heart shaped pot holders might be is somewhat different to, say, your mum's. Unless, of course, your mum is a crack addict or took too much acid in the 60s.

Are Squids And Deer Attracted To Glass Cups If They Have Pepsi In Them And A Hint Of Lavender Only Sarah Palin Could Love?

As for Sarah Palin:

from here

"They are kooks, so I agree with Rush Limbaugh. Rush Limbaugh was using satire ... I didn't hear Rush Limbaugh calling a group of people whom he did not agree with 'f-ing retards,' and we did know that Rahm Emanuel, as has been reported, did say that. There is a big difference there." (actually a quote from a Fox news interview on Feb 7 2010, located here).

And for the record, I don't agree with anyone using the term 'retard' as a derrogatory term. Or pretty much anything Sarah Palin says. I do, however, think the squid question is genius.

the bride wore black and the little girl ate deer meat.

from Sodahead

No, not this kind of black.

It's just the kind of result I envisage when googling with search terms such as "black wedding dress"  and the like.


On a completely unrelated note, I found a story written by Y, on a brown paper bag.


'Once upon a time there lived a girl called "Ella". Ella was 7 years of age and she lived in the forest alone. One fine day Ella had no food so she ate blackberries and deer meat. The end.'

I like Ella. She sounds resourceful.

all the captions I can think of are totally, totally wrong. Pic from here.

In other news, I found my spellcheck, it was in blogger draft. Doofus!

Everyone always leaves

I love this:

Everyone always leaves.

from Unhappy Hipsters, via Mouthful of Joy

So, so funny, I don't know how I didn't discover this blog sooner. (Well, I do, and involves having a life, particularly one that incorporates lots of academic study, sport, dogs and children, but it sounds much less dramatic when put like that).