some totally awesome things that are really boosting the awesome level of my life from regular to EXTREME

Do you remember those bushfire danger scales? The kind that your parents never seemed to notice, but you would always see, and then register, seconds later, "OMFG THE BUSHFIRE DANGER TODAY IS HIGH AND WE ARE DRIVING IN TO THE BUSH"



from F~R~E~D'S flickr

 I could never figure out who adjusted those things. Was it automatic? Was this some kind of amazing computerised sentient sign, per Short Circuit? You know, "fire sign is aliiive!" ... and would this explain why I keep mistyping 'sign' as 'sigh'?

So, imagine now that this is in fact a scale of AWESOME and the point of reference is things in my life. Well, recent events have contributed to this scale being tipped from HIGH to EXTREME.

Obviously, you're wondering why. It's eating away at you, the niggling, anxious feeling... why is katey's life so awesome? Was it me? Was it something I said or did? Was it the one armed man?

Likely all of the above, but WHAT, WHAT IS IT?!

Firstly, I endured another end-of-year dance concert. This makes me sound like a horrendously bad parent who cares not for her daughters' talents, but this isn't necessarily the case, it's more so that I really couldn't give a flying fuck about the hundreds of other kids there. Selfish? Probably? But factually correct? Bingo. I'm fairly confident I'm not alone here, although there are some who look at my boredom and complete intolerance of this claptrap as being selfish and inconsiderate. And it likely is, but meh. Clearly I'm far too self absorbed to care about that.
Anyway, my daughters were awesome, hilariously awesome. Y had her skirt pulled nerdishly high in one of the dance pieces, and G pulled blue steel the entire concert... and the concert photos. I was trying so hard to contain my laughter, I almost swallowed my tongue.

Besides, it's not her fault she's really really ridiculously good looking  (from here)

So, other awesome things.

Ricky Martin.


I know right?

I've lost my mind!
Who knew?!
Apparently, Katey is a secret closet Ricky Martin fan!

Well, appalling music aside (World Cup Songs not included) Ricky Martin is a single dad of twins who DOESN'T EVEN HIRE A NANNY. According to the world of celebrity, twins are the new singleton, but they're impossible to manage without the aid of an entourage of at LEAST 30 staff working round the clock to make sure you don't ever have to come in to contact with them until they're cute enough to walk and ask for dead parrots for pets (per Angelina Jolie and one of her many child-like accessories) with the exclusion of the occasional paparazzi shoot just to confirm that those children are actually real, and well, unlike their celebrity parents, they're being fed.

So yeah. I'm still no fan of his music, and while I know that having twins via surrogacy is the new black, I still think that this is all quite cool. Not-so-secretly-gay single dad of twins... what's not to love?

linkiepoos

Of course, I often like to lay around in the sand with my shirt off looking all pensive and cool and hot while my kids sit there looking all fat and adorable. It's a twin thing. Yeah.

NOW, third awesome thing that I have identified, is an awesome drawing my cousin drew of me, Capn Katey, and her first mate Lil. Arrrr.



Linkie goodness to site of awesomeness



Awesome, no? My cousin drew it, inspired by my mindless blathering in a previous post about my penchant for carrying my dog around on my shoulder and pretending to be a pirate.

Lily makes a most exemplary shoulder companion. Quite possibly because her other occupations include; a university professor - with tenure (Professor Lilbury), a barman (Barkeep), Lily-the-heinous-bitch (when being pestered by our other small dog, Kip) etc.

Why yes, I am in dire need of a life.

Because changing my mind is what I do best...

Have completely changed my mind about the invitations. Hand written 'to-do' lists seem daggy and uncool now, have decided to write vital details on a page torn from an old dictionary instead.
N still prefers the to-do list, but I'm over it.

in other, unrelated news:

Dear Sir/Madam,



I am Mr. Raymond Daniel, the Auditor General, Bank Islam Malaysia Berhad. In the course of my auditing, I discovered a floating funds in an account which was opened in 2001 belonging to a dead foreigner name (withheld) a national of your country. I decided to track his last name over the Internet to locate any member of his family hence I got in contact with you. I want to move the sum of $18.5M from Bank Islam Malaysia Berhad in his account to abroad.



I therefore write to solicit your quiet partnership with me in providing an account or setting up a new one that will serve the purpose of receiving this fund, Even an empty account can also serve as long as there will be honesty to me till the end of the deal and I hope you will never let me down.



After going through his records and files, I discovered that:



(1) No one has operated this account since 2001;

(2) He died without an heir; hence the money has been floating.

(3) No other person knows about this account and there was no known

beneficiary.



AND IF I DO NOT REMIT THIS MONEY URGENTLY, IT WOULD BE FORFEITED FOR

NOTHING.

This money can only be approved to you legally as far you are welling to stands as his NEXT OF KIN. Hence I am contacting you. I will require your urgent reply so that I give you the next step. Kindly forward your telephone and fax numbers. I am ready to give you the sum of $7,500,000 ($7.5M) for your assistance and partnership. While 10% shall be set aside to upset all expenses incurred by both parties during the cause of this transaction.



I look forward to your prompt.



Best Regards,

Mr.Raymond Daniel,

Auditor General.

LOL

and while we're on the topic of deers and such like,

I don't know why this dude's question wasn't answered with the sobriety it so deserves. It seems perfectly legitimate to me.

Having said that, I don't have the answer (much too esoteric for me). Further, I suspect that his interpretation of what Martha Stewart's heart shaped pot holders might be is somewhat different to, say, your mum's. Unless, of course, your mum is a crack addict or took too much acid in the 60s.

Are Squids And Deer Attracted To Glass Cups If They Have Pepsi In Them And A Hint Of Lavender Only Sarah Palin Could Love?

As for Sarah Palin:

from here

"They are kooks, so I agree with Rush Limbaugh. Rush Limbaugh was using satire ... I didn't hear Rush Limbaugh calling a group of people whom he did not agree with 'f-ing retards,' and we did know that Rahm Emanuel, as has been reported, did say that. There is a big difference there." (actually a quote from a Fox news interview on Feb 7 2010, located here).

And for the record, I don't agree with anyone using the term 'retard' as a derrogatory term. Or pretty much anything Sarah Palin says. I do, however, think the squid question is genius.