'your mum' jokes don't work so well on your kids

N's parents came around and 'helped clean'. Now, while I accept my house is untidy (cleaning and folding washing isn't a priority for me, OR anyone else in this house) the whole experience was...demoralising at best. N's mother made a great deal of the amount of clutter and dust everywhere - while doing little to actually resolve any of these issues.
I endured it by rearranging my bedroom, cleaning out my wardrobe (necessary - I could barely close the doors) and vacuuming under my bed. My dad helpfully replaced the broken tap and leaky showerhead, and my little brother helped paint the back room with N and his dad. Oh, to have been one of them.

So, I spent international women's day cleaning my house (and refusing to feel guilty for not being a better housekeeper) in preparation for an upcoming wedding. Ironic, no? I'm still trying to scrub the stench of horrible, hateful anti-feminist behaviour from my body (fortunately, I can now do this in the bath - thanks dad!). Might have to cut my hair shorter, or something.


At any rate, my mother, who is an expert on such things, says that wearing a white, repurposed wedding wedding dress will look like I'm not taking the whole thing seriously. Of course, the white wedding dress could also look too earnest, and I'm starting to feel that I lose either way. Thus, she informs me the only thing I can convincingly wear with my sooper-dooper-awesome shoes ("drag queen shoes, as my mum called them) is black. Minimal, a-line, v-neck black.
Now, rationally I know this, but when shopping patterns I found little that really jumped out at me and said, "OMG WEAR ME WHEN YOU GET WEDDINGED" ... .hence I am still looking.
Knowing, of course, that I will more than likely resort to the black dress.

Meanwhile, still clinging to hope, I also like this

"teal, the colour of gangrene"

badass wad of cash image from here

helen razer, please stop reading my mind, kthx. I have been having the exact same thoughts.



So while procrastinating invitations and study, I was reading Ms Helen Razer's blog . Cos that's what I like to do. Helen was waxing lyrical about the tackiness of the wishing well at weddings, and even more so, the trite poems that accompanies the invitation, wherein couples request money instead of gifts.

While I appreciate the practicality of this gesture - money is a little easier to spend than a gazillion toasters - the whole thing makes me uncomfortable. I don't like it, I think it's tacky. For this reason, I don't do registries. I know it's allegedly more convenient for people and whatever, but it's the sense of entitlement and expectation that accompanies the gift registries that irks me. The dollar value that is easily identified by the gift you gave, as this was some sort of indication of your estimation of the worth of the hosts' friendship.

"We want you to buy this set of pots and pans we chose, kthx".

Eff that.

To me, the money thing is this multiplied. I don't care if you want to use the money to pay for your honeymoon, or a new dining room table, a grocery item or whatever. I'm not a bank and that is not the point of gift giving - further, it completely undervalues my friendship.

So... I make a point of not buying off the registry, instead doing what I think is the whole purpose of a gift - which is giving something from the heart that reflects how you feel about the person/couple - these have included trees, hand made items from local artists, etc.

Thoughtful gifts should be dearly loved. That's the whole point of thoughtful, no? A gift of love from me, to be well loved by you?

cuter than cute chocolate bar from StinkinCuteGifts

** "teal the colour of gangrene" line is from "The Wedding Planner" a terrible, terrible movie that happens to be on the tv as I type. J. Lo's character uses it as a justification for why the wedding of her love interest (whose wedding she is planning) won't last. Because the bride chose teal bridesmaid dresses.
Of course, I find the notion of a romantic movie about someone jilting their soon to be wife at the alter to leave with the wedding planner (who was also jilted!) odd. I mean, I know the groom and bride to be both agree to part ways, but like... wtf? Who gets that far without saying, hang on... do I really want *this* for as long as we both shall live?

Ech.

Wedding industry annoys me.

the bride wore black and the little girl ate deer meat.

from Sodahead

No, not this kind of black.

It's just the kind of result I envisage when googling with search terms such as "black wedding dress"  and the like.


On a completely unrelated note, I found a story written by Y, on a brown paper bag.


'Once upon a time there lived a girl called "Ella". Ella was 7 years of age and she lived in the forest alone. One fine day Ella had no food so she ate blackberries and deer meat. The end.'

I like Ella. She sounds resourceful.

all the captions I can think of are totally, totally wrong. Pic from here.

In other news, I found my spellcheck, it was in blogger draft. Doofus!