(dis) connected

amazing paper dolls from this website here

It seems that I have become so dependent on my ability to instantly communicate with people that those moments when I am not afforded this connection I start to find myself lost, caught in a tailspin of disconnection and suddenly second guessing not only my ability to communicate, but my existence in a world so intrinsically interconnected with each other.

And this is not to say that there is anything actually wrong in my life, that I would need the contact and connection in order to feel validated, alive; rather, my simple efforts at reaching out, asking questions that become unanswered, sending words that are left unresponded to, are trivial, simple reminders and thoughts that are otherwise immaterial and not really worth articulating.

However, in the absence of any kind of response, the idea that someone may be unavailable to me, that something may actually be wrong, begins to ebb and etch its way in to my psyche... why hasn't she replied? What have I done to offend her? Is she busy? Is she okay? Is she upset with me? Did I say something upsetting? Am I being too much?...Most definitely, yes. Yes, much too much... why did I send the second message? Why did I say that? Why didn't I say that? What?! Why? Why? Why?

And then... the phone trills. A reply! A simple, appropriately non-committal response deserving of the simple, appropriately non-committal text message that I sent her hours earlier.

And all is well within the world.

"teal, the colour of gangrene"

badass wad of cash image from here

helen razer, please stop reading my mind, kthx. I have been having the exact same thoughts.



So while procrastinating invitations and study, I was reading Ms Helen Razer's blog . Cos that's what I like to do. Helen was waxing lyrical about the tackiness of the wishing well at weddings, and even more so, the trite poems that accompanies the invitation, wherein couples request money instead of gifts.

While I appreciate the practicality of this gesture - money is a little easier to spend than a gazillion toasters - the whole thing makes me uncomfortable. I don't like it, I think it's tacky. For this reason, I don't do registries. I know it's allegedly more convenient for people and whatever, but it's the sense of entitlement and expectation that accompanies the gift registries that irks me. The dollar value that is easily identified by the gift you gave, as this was some sort of indication of your estimation of the worth of the hosts' friendship.

"We want you to buy this set of pots and pans we chose, kthx".

Eff that.

To me, the money thing is this multiplied. I don't care if you want to use the money to pay for your honeymoon, or a new dining room table, a grocery item or whatever. I'm not a bank and that is not the point of gift giving - further, it completely undervalues my friendship.

So... I make a point of not buying off the registry, instead doing what I think is the whole purpose of a gift - which is giving something from the heart that reflects how you feel about the person/couple - these have included trees, hand made items from local artists, etc.

Thoughtful gifts should be dearly loved. That's the whole point of thoughtful, no? A gift of love from me, to be well loved by you?

cuter than cute chocolate bar from StinkinCuteGifts

** "teal the colour of gangrene" line is from "The Wedding Planner" a terrible, terrible movie that happens to be on the tv as I type. J. Lo's character uses it as a justification for why the wedding of her love interest (whose wedding she is planning) won't last. Because the bride chose teal bridesmaid dresses.
Of course, I find the notion of a romantic movie about someone jilting their soon to be wife at the alter to leave with the wedding planner (who was also jilted!) odd. I mean, I know the groom and bride to be both agree to part ways, but like... wtf? Who gets that far without saying, hang on... do I really want *this* for as long as we both shall live?

Ech.

Wedding industry annoys me.